Why inhibitions are your friend.
As a teenager, my father always tried to drum into me how men found drunk women really unattractive. I would usually roll my eyes, tut and gaze out the window, thinking, “What rubbish. He just wants to stop me having a good time.” Which, incidentally, now I read back, sounds insane.
Last night, I went to a birthday party at the pub, fully equipped with a freezer bag filled with popcorn tea, chai, chilli chai and yerba mate. Slightly anxious that I would be the bore of the gathering and end up leaving early, I was pleasantly surprised to have a blast.
Why? Well – for one – as the night progressed, my tea was the talk of the pub. Several times I used “Do you want to smell my tea?” as an icebreaker. It worked well but you’d expect that, wouldn’t you, with the novelty of popcorn tea?
Something else I noticed was that I felt a lot calmer than I usually do in these sorts of social situations. When I was drinking I would have talked for the sake of filling silence, even if it was sounded random or boring. I would also over-zealously tell stories that people had no interest in. Then drink shots and get blurry before stumbling home and passing out in my clothes.
Yet now I could take my time in conversation. I made, potentially, three new friends and although I didn’t charm the masses, I did have plenty of substantial conversation with interesting people. Not to mention, I let them talk and was genuinely interested in hearing their stories.